Sunday, May 1, 2016

Nocturnal Overthinking

4am, in bed, insomniac.

Trying to shake off this song stuck in my head... I'm thirsty. I need to pee. I wonder if the toilet can wait. Or, in this case, my bladder. Oh, there's a bassline I have to remember tomorrow - where's my notepad? So many things to do, so little time. Oh, hello, anxiety. This pillow is playing games with me... Is it so hard to find a comfortable position?! My neck hurts. Do I really need to go to the toilet? False alarm. When will I die? And how? And why? Do people ever get their heads flooded with these sour thoughts when they can't sleep? Sure, it can't be just me. I need to turn off the bloody heater, it's roasting. I miss home... But where is home? Deep. That Pinterest moodboard is exquisite. How many hours until sunrise? Let me check if I set up the alarm... Can I reach my glass of water in the dark? Fuck. Maybe I should listen to Chopin, classical always soothes the sleepless. Am I still hungry? My stomach is roaring... I'm still too full though, no wonder I can't fall asleep. One should never pig out before bedtime. Life's too short. Will I ever find true love? I can't believe Keith Richards is still alive - incredible. All I can think of right now is peanut butter and chocolate ice cream... and I don't even like peanut butter... The Universe is doomed... Cosmic complexities... Black holes! I lost one of my socks in the layers of this bed. My feet are cold. Did I remove my mascara?! What the hell was that noise? Should I go downstairs? Nah, can't be bothered. MICHAEL FASSBENDER. What should I wear tomorrow? Brown boots + mustard sweater + blue dress + burgundy hat... *mentally visualisation of my entire wardrobe* Do we actually remember when we were little kids or only the photographs of us instead of the actual memories? Is it morning yet? Humpf. 


  1. This is the most relatable thing ever, especially the Fassbender part! haha xx

  2. "What should I wear tomorrow" é uma questão que já não
    se põe na minha idade. Fora isso, toda a gente terá uma insónia
    de vez em quando. E sente, e pensa muito. A diferença é que
    ninguém fala geralmente sobre o que sente ou o que pensa
    mas sobre o que é suposto sentir e pensar. Ser verdadeiro
    e falar do que se é, é difícil. Actualmente praticamente ninguém
    o faz. E ser verdadeiro com os outros é geralmente dar pérolas
    a porcos.
    A casa é onde quiseres. Eu estou sempre aqui para ti.

  3. Don't even get me started. Lately, this sounds like the story of my nights ahahahaha.

  4. I was just introduced to this blog and I was blown away!
    I totally relate to this post, I do have anxiety issues too and on top of that I tend to verbalize all those "sour thoughts" just like you, so poor husband of mine. But actually I've been controlling myself a little more.

    All in all, I've just read this post and I'm already in love with the blog. You got yourself a new fan, a Portuguese one! Compatriota!!

  5. I hear you, sister. The medicine has helped with this. But it's been my everyday for years.

  6. Ai, que viagem! Relaciono-me com a cena da bexiga e de enfardar antes de dormir e, por mais que essas coisas todas sejam engraçadas de se ler agora, não têm piada nenhuma na altura.